Monogamy is dead. Do I believe in it? Yes, I do believe that it is possible and practical to be ridiculously in love and have one partner for the rest of your life. However, I do not believe that it is probable. I’m only 19 years old and though I’m still very young compared to other people searching, looking, or falling in and out of love, I for one do not believe I personally will ever truly fall in love the way that I want to. And I’m strictly talking about the love that two people share, don’t even let me bring up the ideal man because that would be a whole other blog post worth. Forget the looks or the personality for a minute, and just focus on the connection. I’ve never been in love or even remotely close to it, I mean I’m only 19 years old why am I even worrying about love right now? I should be young and free and enjoying my life (which I am) but also not thinking about love and my future in that category nearly as much as I do(which I am). Why? Because today’s society has implanted this idea in our heads that everyone should be searching for and falling in love and living happily ever after and all the rest of the bullshit that comes along with it. The earlier you find that special someone the better. But many of us neglect to mention what happens 20 or 30 years down the line after they find that “special someone”. After all america’s divorce rate is somewhat high is it not?
That aside, because divorce is not the direction I meant for this post to go in. Society, media, movies, television etc.. has conjured up these epic love stories that puts ideas in your head of what love and life “should” be like, AKA what we all wish our lives were like. Unfortunately the average person, myself included, will never experience anything remotely close to the epic lives of those fictional characters miraculously represented on screen. People say all the time how life is never like how it is in the movies, because for most of us that’s true. But what if somewhere out there the love and the chemistry that you see on screen is real between two people somewhere out there in the world. While it may just be fiction, and curse me for even saying this, but that IS my idea of love. I mean what else does a single 19 year old have to go by when she’s never even been remotely close to it? If they don’t give you butterflies when you walk in the room or really feel the heat between the two of you when you kiss then I don’t want it. I want REAL ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming love. (and yes i did just quote sex and the city). But it’s true. that is exactly what I’m looking for but the trouble is I don’t think I’ll actually ever find or experience a love like that, especially one that will last me a lifetime. I’ll be lucky and even somewhat satisfied if I can experience that type of love ONCE in my life even if it’s not for the REST of my life. I mean look around, plenty of my friends are in relationships or have been in relationships in the past but I could only point out maybe one or two that I actually think fully experience young love like that, the rest were simply very much ‘in like’. But anyways, the point that I’m taking forever to make here is that the kind of love that I want doesn’t truly exist anymore, and if it does it is spread throughout the globe far and wide. I’m not being negative when I say I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love like that I’m just being REALISTIC.
And so what normally comes after love is marriage. Something that every girls dreams of and has a Pinterest board full of her future wedding dress, decorations, the ring she wants, the whole nine yards. I am proud to announce that I am not one of those girls with a wedding Pinterest board nor will I ever have one unless I’m actually engaged. Will that day actually come? I don’t know and I’m very skeptical to think so. If I ever got married it would have to be the most epic relationship because like I said earlier, I believe in monogamy but I don’t think I will actually experience it and if I do it won’t last me a lifetime in the way that I want it to. Think about how many people are married. Now think about how many people are married and are happy—emotionally, mentally, and physically happy/satisfied. Maybe it’s the just the environment that I’ve grown up in or the many marriages that I’ve seen fail while growing up. I mean think how many of your friends parents and/or relatives ended up getting a divorce. The odds are really not in anyone’s favor and with all the bad luck I have they surely are not in mine. If you are young and in love, great, good for you, just remember to hold onto that love. Because it is more likely than not that you won’t come across the same kind of love more than once. That “real love”, the kind that I’m searching for, is so far only something that I can dream about. And if I ever meet someone who can make me feel that way well then I will truly be happy after all, but until then I remain in the default state of being realistic and expecting disappointment but not actually feeling disappointed. At the end of the day it’s up to you to love yourself and after 19 years on this planet I have learned to be that strong independent girl who makes her own happiness and doesn’t need a man by her side who she only really likes sometimes to make that happen.
I’ve decided that when I go back to school I need to have a crazy drunk one night stand with someone because I am so sexually frustrated it’s not even funny. The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you. So maybe if I’m hammered I won’t even notice the difference
If you don’t get excited when you’re about to kiss someone then you probably shouldn’t be kissing them. It should get you riled up inside and should not be mediocre.
I honestly think that being single just isn’t as much fun when the majority of your girlfriends whom you normally go out with are in relationships. and that’s just the shitty truth. when the day that all of my friends are in relationships and i’m still single comes, i might actually just go insane.
Truth be told it does bother me. I never did liked sharing.